My Holiday

It's my first time to spend Christmas and New Year as a poz, well nothing has changed, I celebrated my holiday the same as the previous years, bonding with my family, reunion with friends, visiting my relatives, the only thing that makes it special is I cherished every moment of it, especially when im with my family, I missed my family, I've been living alone for quite some time now, its not that far from my parents house but I don't get to see them that often, my parents are busy as usual, they work hard for us to have a comfortable life, try to give us good education and provides us with what we need, my brother's are all grown up (i have 3), what are their vices? are they having girlfriends already? engaging into sex? i can't really tell what's going on with their life anymore, and my sister she has matured, my sister is a teen mom, she got pregnant two year's ago (she was 17yrs.old), our family has gone through a lot of pain but we fought through it, my niece will be turning two on April, she's our little princess, we will do everything for her, she's spoiled, she never fails to make us smile every time she speaks, sings, dance or do all her stuff, thanks to her she's been keeping us bonded, we set aside our differences when it comes to her, we only want the best for her, we love her very much especially me, we have dreams for her, I want her to be enrolled in a good school, I enroll her in ballet classes, gymnastic classes, piano lessons,  everything she wants to do. I know I can't have kids anymore so I'm treating her as one of my own, so GOD please give me 18 years more, just let me be with her on her 18th birthday. 

After new year we decided to watch a movie, we watched "tanging ina" what got my attention is how ai ai delas alas struggles to tell her family about her condition, within the family only my mom knows that I am HIV positive, its been 11months since I got diagnosed. My dad and sibling doesn't have a clue, I was planning to tell them this christmas but something hold me back, it's not yet time for me to open up. I am afraid of how will they take it, i am really scared. I need to plan it very carefully, I have to be ready for anything that may happened. When? Only GOD knows...

2010, was not a good year for me, too much drama, too much depression, too much heartache, but I'm still thankful for all the blessing I received, for friends I gained and lost, for an unsuccessful romance, for me having another year with my family. Having HIV made me realized a lot of things, I am still normal and will still act normal, no new years resolution for 2011 but I have a lot of things I want to do this year. I am looking forward to 2011, hopefully this year will be better. :)