Saturday, January 29, 2011

How to Move On After a Break Up



Break-ups can be difficult and painful, but the important thing to remember is that a break up is not the end of the world. Sometimes a break-up can even be a good thing because it will give you a chance to re-evaluate your life, and maybe even lead you to find someone more suitable. The truth is, that you can move on after a break-up no matter how bad it may have been.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

  1. Give yourself plenty of time to heal and recuperate. Remember that time heals all wounds. Put away pictures, gifts or any mementos that remind you of your ex. It is natural to experience feelings of denial, but do your best to resist the urge to call your ex and ask to get back together. Immediately after a break-up, you are at your most vulnerable state, so be careful not to get into a rebound relationship
    that may prove to be a mistake. Avoid some of the pitfalls, such as drowning your sorrows in alcohol, and instead channel all of your energy into positive activities that make you feel good about yourself.
  2. Surround yourself with friends and loved ones. Talk about how you're feeling and allow them to comfort you and offer you advice. A break-up can be a very lonely experience, so surrounding yourself with others you love and trust will help to erase some of the loneliness. Don't try to deal with the experience all by yourself. Go out and meet new people, rebuild old relationships, network and immerse yourself into social situations. Keep yourself busy doing things you enjoy with the people you love, and don't dwell on the past.
  3. Go out and have fun. Don't stay home and sulk, as it will only make you feel more miserable. Round up a group of friends and hit the town. Do something fun and exciting, such as a night of dancing or bar hopping. Plan a weekend beach or camping trip or take a quick out-of-town getaway. Going out with friends will remind you that being single can be just as fun as being in a relationship. It will also help to keep your mind off your ex.
  4. Take some time off for yourself and get away from the world for a while. Use this time to reflect on your life and expectations for the future. Enjoy your time alone with relaxing activities such as reading, taking long baths, watching your favorite movies or engaging in a favorite hobby or pastime. Basically, take this time to do whatever makes you feel the most relaxed and calm. Clear your mind of all negative feelings to help you slowly let go of any lingering bitterness.
  5. Start dating again. After you have given yourself adequate time to get over your last relationship, consider getting back into the dating game. Allow yourself to fall in love again and enjoy the start of a new relationship. Be careful to not rush things and take the time to really let your partner into your life. Take care not to be consumed in this new union, or any other relationship, for that matter--you never know when another break-up may happen.

Tips & Warnings

  • Whatever you do, don't let a break-up get you down. Remember that everyone experiences break-ups regardless of age, race, class or social status. Even celebrities go through bad break-ups, so don't let the end of a relationship destroy your self-esteem.
  • If you don't feel like you are recovering from your breakup after a significant amount of time, seek professional help. You may be suffering from clinical depression.

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