Saturday, January 29, 2011

How to Move On After a Break Up

Break-ups can be difficult and painful, but the important thing to remember is that a break up is not the end of the world. Sometimes a break-up can even be a good thing because it will give you a chance to re-evaluate your life, and maybe even lead you to find someone more suitable. The truth is, that you can move on after a break-up no matter how bad it may have been.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging


  1. Give yourself plenty of time to heal and recuperate. Remember that time heals all wounds. Put away pictures, gifts or any mementos that remind you of your ex. It is natural to experience feelings of denial, but do your best to resist the urge to call your ex and ask to get back together. Immediately after a break-up, you are at your most vulnerable state, so be careful not to get into a rebound relationship
    that may prove to be a mistake. Avoid some of the pitfalls, such as drowning your sorrows in alcohol, and instead channel all of your energy into positive activities that make you feel good about yourself.
  2. Surround yourself with friends and loved ones. Talk about how you're feeling and allow them to comfort you and offer you advice. A break-up can be a very lonely experience, so surrounding yourself with others you love and trust will help to erase some of the loneliness. Don't try to deal with the experience all by yourself. Go out and meet new people, rebuild old relationships, network and immerse yourself into social situations. Keep yourself busy doing things you enjoy with the people you love, and don't dwell on the past.
  3. Go out and have fun. Don't stay home and sulk, as it will only make you feel more miserable. Round up a group of friends and hit the town. Do something fun and exciting, such as a night of dancing or bar hopping. Plan a weekend beach or camping trip or take a quick out-of-town getaway. Going out with friends will remind you that being single can be just as fun as being in a relationship. It will also help to keep your mind off your ex.
  4. Take some time off for yourself and get away from the world for a while. Use this time to reflect on your life and expectations for the future. Enjoy your time alone with relaxing activities such as reading, taking long baths, watching your favorite movies or engaging in a favorite hobby or pastime. Basically, take this time to do whatever makes you feel the most relaxed and calm. Clear your mind of all negative feelings to help you slowly let go of any lingering bitterness.
  5. Start dating again. After you have given yourself adequate time to get over your last relationship, consider getting back into the dating game. Allow yourself to fall in love again and enjoy the start of a new relationship. Be careful to not rush things and take the time to really let your partner into your life. Take care not to be consumed in this new union, or any other relationship, for that matter--you never know when another break-up may happen.

Tips & Warnings

  • Whatever you do, don't let a break-up get you down. Remember that everyone experiences break-ups regardless of age, race, class or social status. Even celebrities go through bad break-ups, so don't let the end of a relationship destroy your self-esteem.
  • If you don't feel like you are recovering from your breakup after a significant amount of time, seek professional help. You may be suffering from clinical depression.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Nobody's BITCH!

Since I became single I begun my promiscuous adventure, I only had a few encounter's when I became HIV positive, and I know I want more, I am young and I want to explore more. I know I have HIV but this doesn't stop me from having sex, I am still human, I have my needs. I am strict when it comes to having sex I have a NO CONDOM NO SEX policy. I created a account in some gay networking site, I must admit I became easily marketable, I used a decent profile pic, but then I changed it into something more sexy but not in a cheap way, more people viewing my profile the more messages i am receiving. My best friend always ask me "Why is it so easy for the gay community to get sex?" I answered I don't know. maybe because it's December and its cold, it seems people are longing for some hot action, "naghahanap sila ng magpapainit sa pasko nila at ako un!", a few text from here to there, I was shy at first, a bit afraid but i got the hang of it, it started with a a few date/s (wholesome date/s) coffee, movie and dinner, followed by a one on one action, then there's 3some's, and a 4some but it didn't stop there, orgy? no, not yet, I had sex day after day, there were times I get them twice a day, or maybe thrice? every time with a different person. hahahaha... I have been to different place within the area, I didn't know that promiscuity would teach me to explore the different parts of my area. I know I made myself TOO AVAILABLE, but I choose my partner's very well. I have standards. I maybe easy but I am not cheap! lol! In terms of sex,  I like it intense and rough! Really rough! I am not the vanilla type! I am a slave... but I am fragile! I had done it in public areas as well, in the bus, park, movie house, mall comfort room, fitting room and etc... I always make sure that my partner/s will have a great time, some say's I'm good, some say's I'm great, some want's to own me and be their exclusive partner in bed. Sorry guys but I'm nobody's bitch! Most of the time I didn't even know the names of my sex partner/s, after hooking up I don't usually talk to them anymore unless the sex is great and will be scheduling a second meet up, there will always be an exception. I had met people with different personalities, body built, and size, again not all tall guys have bigger dicks. hehehe...

This post may be disturbing to some people, but always remember that I am still human and I have needs, I always do it protected, every now and then I still checked their dicks if their condom is still on. Regardless of your status you should always do it protected. HIV is real and it is now here in the Philippines, the numbers are still going up so practice safe sex guys. :)

Sunday, January 9, 2011

YFL on The Philippine Star

Yoga for life, and living for yoga
Article by: BENT ANTENNA By Audrey N. Carpio (The Philippine Star) Updated January 07, 2011

On the first day back from the holidays, my yoga class was expectedly full with new people and their steely resolve to get on the fitness track. As we stretched out our creaky bones, saturated with Christmas fat, and sweated out the hangovers, I once again thought about what it was about yoga that has made me keep coming back to it throughout the years. I was always a nerd, unathletic and gawky, and in high school I would skip PE classes by managing to always have my period. The competitiveness of team sports didn’t appeal to me, and running like a hamster in the gym was boring and tedious. Discovering yoga was somewhat of a breakthrough in my physical routine, mainly because it wasn’t all about the physical. There was a mind-body connection that appealed to my intellectual and spiritual side while also creating a stronger, more toned body. After the last minutes of savasana I would always feel centered and peaceful, free of toxins both physical and emotional. So I wasn’t surprised when I came across yoga for people living with HIV. As a practice with proven physiological and psychological benefits for almost any type of body, it makes perfect sense.

Yoga For Life, a community-based yoga series created by Charmaine Cu-Unjieng, a Yale-educated HIV specialist, and Paulo Leonido, a fitness expert and personal trainer, came together when the two met during yoga teacher training under Roland dela Cruz of Bliss Yoga. Call it dharma. “We were together six days a week for two months. We’re both passionate about HIV. We even have the same birthday,” Charmaine says. “I always wanted to merge the work I had been doing with yoga, and meeting Paolo catalyzed it.”

With her contacts at Echo Yoga, a group that offers alternative classes to niche groups like overweight and older people, and his contacts at Philippine General Hospital and the Research Institute for Tropical Medicine, Charmaine and Paulo developed an Iyengar-based yoga program designed for the needs of people living with HIV and AIDS. Worldwide, yoga is being recognized as an important complementary therapy for immunosuppressed patients. “I have friends living with HIV. I had always wondered, what happens next?” Paulo says. “So we came up with Yoga for Life, which is a non-strenuous, holistic approach to wellness.”

The first couple of months of classes were not so easy, as newcomers had many fears to overcome and needed to grow more comfortable about opening up and talking about HIV. “We didn’t know at first whether to focus on people with HIV, or make it an advocacy against stigma and discrimination, open to everyone. We were also concerned about confidentiality,” says Charmaine. But it has become a safe space: there is no requirement to disclose one’s status, and the classes are indeed open to people with HIV and those who support people with HIV. Ninety percent of the students are gay men, and half of them are estimated to be HIV positive.

In Ayurvedic philosophy, specific poses like inversions are beneficial to the immune system, while backbends stimulate thymus activity and forward bends detoxify the liver. B.K.S. Iyengar, the founder of Iyengar Yoga, outlined a sequence of poses that encourage proper blood circulation and activate glands that are known to regulate the production of T-cells, the body’s army against infections. For people living with HIV, yoga alleviates stress and depression. For those on ARV drugs, yoga helps detoxify their system. After an hour and 15 minutes of asana practice, the students are guided through meditation and breathing techniques, and it is in these moments that yoga becomes its most medicinal. “Our approach is to bring back the inner peace, self love, self empowerment and happiness. You don’t have to be reminded about your sickness,” Charmaine explains.

Feedback and results from students have been encouraging. One student, with a dangerously low CD4 count of 7 (HIV-negative people normally would have 700-1,000 T-cells) was getting sick with opportunistic infections. The doctor advised him to stop exercising. Charmaine and Paulo put him in relaxing poses. He stopped getting fever every day, and started gaining weight and getting stronger. His new CD4 count is unknown, but one can surmise that his stabilized health reflects a higher number of T-cells. Paulo shares that other students are starting to practice on their own, even employing breathing techniques inside taxis when they need to calm down.

With Paulo as a great motivator for the students, keeping in touch with inspirational texts, Yoga for Life has become more than just a place for a judgment-free work out. “Yoga for Life has proven itself to be a real community,” blogged one practitioner who had been living with HIV for three years. “Being with the Yoga for Life community turned out to be the best way to celebrate World AIDS Day. Yes, I dare to use the word ‘celebrate.’ Because gone are the days of World AIDS Day being a commemoration of the lives that had been lost to AIDS. Rather, we should be celebrating. Celebrating life going on in spite of the virus.”
For the new year, Paulo and Charmaine are hoping to scale up their program, introduce fun safer-sex campaigns to spread the message of positive prevention, and find more yoga teachers. As they run it on a volunteer basis and only ask for a suggested donation of P200 per class, the sustainability of Yoga for Life still looms as an issue. But with the energy they give out in service to others, the universe is sure to respond in manifold.

* * *
Yoga for Life is held on Wednesdays, 7 p.m. at 28th Floor Conference Room, Medical Plaza Ortigas Building, San Miguel Avenue, Ortigas, Pasig City, and on Saturdays, 2 p.m. at Echo Yoga Community Center, 9th Floor Penthouse, Century Plaza Building, Perea Street, Legazpi Village, Makati.

YFL invites you to share our Yoga for Life practice in any way, e.g. join a class, teach a class (for yoga teachers), donate (cash, yoga mat or other yoga props), host a class, re-post this article, or other creative ways you would like to contribute. Happy 2011! Namaste =)

For inquiries, you may contact:
Charmaine: 0917 540-4247 |
Paulo: 0917 388-9658 |

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

My Holiday

It's my first time to spend Christmas and New Year as a poz, well nothing has changed, I celebrated my holiday the same as the previous years, bonding with my family, reunion with friends, visiting my relatives, the only thing that makes it special is I cherished every moment of it, especially when im with my family, I missed my family, I've been living alone for quite some time now, its not that far from my parents house but I don't get to see them that often, my parents are busy as usual, they work hard for us to have a comfortable life, try to give us good education and provides us with what we need, my brother's are all grown up (i have 3), what are their vices? are they having girlfriends already? engaging into sex? i can't really tell what's going on with their life anymore, and my sister she has matured, my sister is a teen mom, she got pregnant two year's ago (she was 17yrs.old), our family has gone through a lot of pain but we fought through it, my niece will be turning two on April, she's our little princess, we will do everything for her, she's spoiled, she never fails to make us smile every time she speaks, sings, dance or do all her stuff, thanks to her she's been keeping us bonded, we set aside our differences when it comes to her, we only want the best for her, we love her very much especially me, we have dreams for her, I want her to be enrolled in a good school, I enroll her in ballet classes, gymnastic classes, piano lessons,  everything she wants to do. I know I can't have kids anymore so I'm treating her as one of my own, so GOD please give me 18 years more, just let me be with her on her 18th birthday. 

After new year we decided to watch a movie, we watched "tanging ina" what got my attention is how ai ai delas alas struggles to tell her family about her condition, within the family only my mom knows that I am HIV positive, its been 11months since I got diagnosed. My dad and sibling doesn't have a clue, I was planning to tell them this christmas but something hold me back, it's not yet time for me to open up. I am afraid of how will they take it, i am really scared. I need to plan it very carefully, I have to be ready for anything that may happened. When? Only GOD knows...

2010, was not a good year for me, too much drama, too much depression, too much heartache, but I'm still thankful for all the blessing I received, for friends I gained and lost, for an unsuccessful romance, for me having another year with my family. Having HIV made me realized a lot of things, I am still normal and will still act normal, no new years resolution for 2011 but I have a lot of things I want to do this year. I am looking forward to 2011, hopefully this year will be better. :)