On the RIGHT Direction

The only constant thing in this world is change and I feel that I'm strong enough to face the upcoming changes in my life, good or bad, I am ready. In this world relationship of the same sex is really complicated, some couple had their stories of Fairy Tale and some don't, as for me it didn't, my LOVE STORY ENDED. As much I want to tell you the reasons why we broke up I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut and move on with my life. I am FINE, don't worry. Another change that happened lately is WORK, I am now employed, I've been waiting for this for a very long time. The work given to me was very challenging but I am in control, I will be handling several departments, this is new to me but I know I can do this, they are expecting a lot from me and I won't let them down. My daily routine wouldn't be the same as before but I am okay with that. I AM EXCITED! As far as my Health is concerned I am now on my 5th month of ARV I feel "NORMAL" not much of a big deal. I still prioritized my Health above all. Health is Wealth as they say it. Good things comes for people who wait but act on it. A lot of things has happened lately, the right mixture of good and bad but in general I am feeling GREAT! One by one things are falling into their rightful place, I know I am heading on the right track.

My Pride, His Anger

After the break up a lot of things has happened, we tried to talk about it and started dating (again) even if our friends (on both parties) are against it, but they had no choice but to deal with it, this time we are taking things slowly. It's was "okay", not the same as before less emotions involved, but we only made it worst:

• Me going on different dates, him whoring on planetromeo.

• Him spreading my private conversation with my best friend on facebook to his friends, co-workers at the school who happens to be owned by my mom, and to people who I don't even know, also telling the hairdresser of the salon we both go to. As a defense me sending his cybersex conversation to his friends. 

• Exchanged of harsh words, me putting up status on facebook pertaining to him.

• Him getting furious and getting physical (for the 2nd time) but this time I fought back.

THIS IS TOO MUCH! THIS IS REALLY UNHEALTHY!

Am I happy for what just happened? NO, but boy did I learned my lessons well. I admit we both crossed the line. After hitting me in the face he had the guts to talked to my mom and got her sympathy, she ask him to stay, now the relationship I'm building up with my mom goes down the drain, again for the nth time my mom thinks I'm a mess. I hope he's happy but this won't last long, I will take back everything he took from me. You cannot blame me for everything, I also fought hard to make this relationship work, I also gave up so many things for him, and I gave everything as much. I'm not coming out clean, I also had my share's of inconsistencies, bad attitudes, stupidity and faults but I can't help but think for a guy who had 15-20 relationships in the past and most are unsuccessful, there must be something wrong. I don't want this to end this way but somehow what just happened made me realized something, that "loving yourself more doesn't mean your selfish". Sadly the best way to end this is to go our separate ways, too many people got involved, as of now it can never be fixed. Thanks to my ex bf I learned to stand up for on my own, to defend myself, I'm not the guy who just keep quiet all the time, no, not anymore.

Now, I am starting my life all over again without him