Remembering 2012

2013 is almost here, but let me share you my top 5 unforgettable experience this 2012.

5. Losing a friend - I've met him late December of 2010, instantly we clicked, we were constantly communicating through twitter, and just this year he passed away. He was such a good friend. I miss him...

4. Promotion - I have always been frustrated about my career, this promotion is truly a blessing.

3. Birthday - One of the most memorable birthday experience is celebrating with my twitter friend. I am happy that I was able to meet this wonderful people.

2. Cd4 - After being stuck to 300, my cd4 finally went up to 647, this one is really a surprise, because of my stressful work environment I didn't expect it to go up like this. I am very thankful.

1. Family and Boyfriend - My family doesn't talk about my relationship or even my orientation but I was surprised when they took the initiative to get to know my partner, we even had lunch the day my partner went abroad. Slowly they are starting to accept our relationship.

My partner went home on the day of our anniversary, even though he was just staying here for a short while, he never fails to make me happy. Its been 3months since he left and I miss him so badly.


Overall this year was great, I am very thankful to God for giving me a very understanding doctor, a stable job, a wonderful friends, a supportive family, and a loving boyfriend. Looking forward to a better 2013.

Happy New Year! :)

MAKATI S.E.B

Know your status and be worry-free.  Come to the Medicard Lifestyle Center (Buendia corner Paseo de Roxas, Makati City) on Nov. 23, 2012, between 5 PM and 2 AM, and have your HIV screening test, with bonus tests for Hepatitis B and Syphilis – all for free.  Your information shall be handled with utmost care and confidentiality. For pre-registration, go to http://tinyurl.com/makatiSEB.

What your Number?

It's been 7 months since I had my last check up, my doctor in PGH barely recognizes me. I was so busy with work that I cant find time for my follow up check up. Last month I turned 24 at the same time I had my cd4 extraction, I am very vocal that what I want for my birthday is having my cd4 reach 500, I always do pray about it. My cd4 is always in a fluctuating manner, it goes up but goes down again after the next extraction.

Here's the trend.

August 2010- 443

February 2011- 297

August 2011- 334

March 2012- 326

Frustrating right?! LOL!

So yesterday I had my follow up check up, the usual, my doctor check my heart, my lungs, my neck for lymph nodes, mouth for cank sores, eyes for what ever. hehehe... Thankfully she didn't saw anything wrong. For my cd4 results, she just stared at me and asked what my last cd4 count is, I was nervous, I asked her if it decreases, she was just silent and handed me over my results. I can't believe what I saw so I check if it really was mine, I checked the code number and it is mine. I was so happy! Finally my wish came true, my cd4 as of october 2012 was 647!!!! I prayed and thank GOD for all his blessings. :)

Also follow me on twitter: positHIVe

Thanks for reading! :)

Leaving on a Jet Plane

All his things are packed and he's ready to go...

In a few days he'll be leaving the country, I feel sad that he's leaving again, as much as I want him to stay longer he needs to work, I don't want to be selfish. I will miss you and the wonderful times we spend together. 3 months is so short but we made it worthwhile. Take care my baby... I love you!

Climbing the Career Ladder

The month of June came and my promotion is official. I used to work 2 jobs but now I want to focus on one, I've been working on this company for a almost a year, I used to work as a part timer since I don't like to be tied up in one company but since my boss noticed my potential she offered me regularization with the compensation I demanded at first I was hesitant but after thinking hard I decided to accept it, to my surprise the offer wasn't only for regularization, I am promoted as one of the senior employee's of the company, there are people who were working for the company for years but still my boss chose me. I am happy with the blessings I am receiving from GOD, I've finally proven to my mom that my life is going on the right path despite the virus. My work schedule is kinda crazy but I think I can manage. :)

Hibernating from twitter

Its been a while since the last entry, so many things has happened, got promoted from work, my partner finally arrived. Everything is going well until depression strikes again. I will be hibernating from twitter for a while, I need to fix some issues with myself, I also want to focus my attention to my partner. I'll be back once everything falls into their rightful place. Till then... Take care guys!

Update: Doctor, Meds, and Cd4

I went to S.A.G.I.P-PGH yesterday to have my check up, to get my cd4 results and have my meds refill. Since sagip is on going some changes, new nurse, new doctor its like I'm starting all over again. I arrived around 1pm, its the first time I saw sagip with more than 5 people, usually when I go there I don't see anyone. Anyways the usual I knocked on the door and asked for my doctor, since I have a new doctor I forgot what her name was and gave my student number instead, in fairness to nurse karen, she is very nice and accommodating but since she is new she only knew me by my student number, so she let me wait outside then after a few minutes she let me in, she checked my blood pressure, my temperature, then she put something in my finger I really don't know what that's for, finally my weight, from 70kilos I now weigh 66kilos, I'm so happy I lost weight, I've been on a diet this past few days, thank god it payed off, then I told her that I was also gonna refill my meds, a few days before a friend from twitter tweeted that there isn't enough meds for our cocktail, and I confirmed that he was right, I was only given 15days supply of lamivudine and tenofovir, but I was given a bottle of efavirenz, the mass supply of meds will be delivered on the 3rd week of april so I think there is no reason to worry. After that I have to wait outside again for my doctor, to tell you honestly I wasn't so thrilled about the new doctor thing, I like my old doctor very much. When she came nurse karen introduced me to her, I was a bit shy but she is really nice, like my old doctor I can feel that she cares for me, she asked some question about my family, how am I coping, etc... The conversation when on and on, I found out that like my old doctor her pre-med course is my college degree, we had something in common. So its time for my cd4 results, my last cd4 as of august 2011 is 334, and my current cd4 is 326, it dropped 8points but it didn't really bothers me, I feel fine and I know someday I will be able to reach the 500 level. :)

My letter to H.I.V

 

Dear HIV,

You caught me completely off guard, I never saw you coming, the next thing I know you are already in my body and I have to live with you for the rest of my life. Accepting you is not easy. You broke my heart, you made me cry, you shattered my dreams, you even destroyed my relationship with my mom. How can a very tiny thing manage to broke many peoples hearts? Sooner or later a cure will be found, and you won't be able to hurt anybody anymore. 

I admit for a while I let you took over, you even had me on my knees but things will be different now. I won't let you take over again, I will take charge from now on. Living with you won't be a nightmare anymore, with the medication I have, you can now be controlled. HIV will be living with me not the other way around. Slowly I will be able to achieve my dreams, and you can't do anything about it. You will remain my darkest little secret.

positHIVe

Do you know your HIV status?

THIS COMING SUNDAY!

Makati City Health Office
in cooperation with The Love Yourself Project and PNAC 


WHAT: HIV Confidential Counseling and Testing
(it’s FREE! Walang bayad!)


WHEN: Sunday, 4 March 2012 


TIME: 9:00am to 5:00pm


WHERE: 
Gen. Pio Del Pilar National High School,
F. Zobel cor Morong St., Poblacion, Makati City
(directly at the back of Makati City Hall)

Dr. Zamora

I met Dr. Zamora in July of 2010 at PGH, she's been my doctor ever since and now she is leaving S.A.G.I.P - PGH. Dr. Zamora isn't like any doctor she is very friendly, sincere and you can always depend on her. I remember the last time we talked she told me to take care of myself and I have to be a good boy from now on, I admit I am "pasaway" most of the time, but I am not stubborn I just like to live my life the way I want it. Sorry doc! With the disease that I have I think its really important that you have a strong connection with your doctor. I can share anything to her about my life, family, career, love life, even my sex life, she just listen without any judgement, she even met my mom and my partner, she is very supportive. She guided me in this journey, she is one of the reason why I am still healthy, for a year and seven months she took care of me. I cannot thank her enough. I am really sad that she's not going to be my doctor anymore, I feel that I am also losing a friend. She is one of the few people that understands my personality. I will surely miss her. If ever you read this doc THANK YOU! I promise to be good from now on. You're the BEST! I will miss you. :)

Keep Breathing

 

How can I forget this day...

Today I am reminded of how my journey begun, my struggles and sacrifices, and how far I've grown since then. At a young age I had to face HIV, live with HIV. Living a normal life is tough, living with HIV is tougher! I am thankful of having to wake up every day and continue to aim for my goals in life. Its been two years now and I'm very happy of who I've become today, I've helped a few people and hopefully inspire more. I just realized my life will never be normal but it can be next to normal. I consider this day as my second birthday.

This heart is still beating! Just keep on breathing guys. :)

Jet Lag

Its been 3 months and 16 days since he left... I miss him... sa isip ko mabilis lang naman ang araw, ilang tulog lng magkakasama na ulit kami. I kept myself busy as in career mode talaga! subsob sa trabaho kahit sunday nagwowork ako, para hindi ko siya masyado maisip, para iwas landi na din. lol! madaming temptation sa paligid. hahaha... Hanggang landi lng naman ako. I know my limitations. Minsan namimiss ko ung kakulitan nya, para kasing bata yun, mahilig mang asar pero asar talo naman. Nakakamiss din ung paglalambing nya sobrang maalaga pa, feeling ko isa akong princess, teka ang landi ko na. lol! weird pala magsulat in tagalog. Anyways... Monthsary namin ngayon, kung ilang months na kami I'm not sure. Nangyari nalang kasi bigla. Its my first long distance relationship, hirap pala lalo na ung time zone pag umaga dito gabi doon, I have to wait for his call para lang makapagusap kami, there are times pa na bihira siya tumawag dahil busy but my love for him is still the same, I text him more than 5x everyday, kahit puro I love you lang laman ng message. Sa totoo lang I never felt this way sa isang tao. The good thing about our relationship is it did not start on sex, and it isn't based on sex, we're contented with hugging and kissing lang, basta magkasama lng kami. I think of him as my knight in shinning armor, nadami akong natutunan sa kanya, my life got better. I'm very HAPPY na nakilala ko cia, may mga plans na kami for our future. I know same sex relationships doesn't always have a happy ending, sooner or later they end up going separate ways pero hindi naman cguro masamang mangarap na may "Happily Ever After" kaming dalawa. Good vibes lng dapat. hehehe... Bawal ang nega. In a few months makikita na kita ulit. Excited na ako. Happy Monthsary! I love you! and I miss you!

What time is it where you are?
I miss you more than anything
Back at home you feel so far
Waitin' for the phone to ring
It's gettin’ lonely livin’ upside down
I don't even wanna be in this town
Tryin' to figure out the time zones makin' me crazy

You say good morning
When it's midnight
Going out of my head
Alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset
And it's driving me mad
I miss you so bad
And my heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged
Heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged
Heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged

What time is it where you are?
Five more days and I'll be home
I keep your picture in my car
I hate the thought of you alone
I've been keepin' busy all the time
Just to try to keep you off my mind
Tryin' to figure out the time zones makin’ me crazy

You say good morning
When it's midnight
Going out of my head
Alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset
And it's drivin' me mad
I miss you so bad
And my heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged
Heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged
Heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged
Is so jet lagged

I miss you so bad [x5]
I wanna share your horizon
I miss you so bad
And see the same sunrising
I miss you so bad
Turn the hour hand back to when you were holding me.

You say good morning
When it's midnight
Going out of my head
Alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset
And it's drivin' me mad
I miss when you say good morning
But it's midnight
Going out of my head
Alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset
And it's drivin' me mad
I miss you so bad
And my heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged
Heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged
Heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged
Is so jetlagged
Is so jetlagged